Well, I am nothing.
A subset of quarks and electrons in a weird configuration that we commonly call “life”. A mind interfacing through a body, living in an ecosystem. A complex bunch of proteins, lipids and carbon-based molecules kept together by a large quantity of continuously-recycled water. Complex patterns and self-defining ideas that struggle to keep existing through time without even having me notice.
Twenty-six years and counting. Male.
My time is primarily occupied by breathing and moving my hands. If you take a random moment, it’s very likely that I am sleeping, inside a car, in front of a computer or explaining concepts to people.
I love working. It defines my existence and value, and probably it’s the main thing that keeps me away from chronic depression (which will likely come in a later stage of life).
As you could have already figured out, I do stuff with computers. A lot. People usually fail to find good words to define me, and often fall back to the common “nerd” or “geek” adjectives; nice try though.
Not quite sociopathic, I just don’t like low-quality people (like those who don’t learn or admit they’re sometimes wrong, or don’t challenge ideas but take them for granted), and that of course is subjective, I won’t blame the reader if he is producing a prejudice on me right now, after all judging with little information is easy, faulty and makes people feel good.
Money is not my primary goal, otherwise I would be already be working for some big corp. I prefer doing what I like and be surrounded with people I strongly admire and respect instead of living in a pool of sharks that try to devour each other every day (how cute). The days I went to school were a complete waste of time, morale and resources, and I don’t want to be forced again to live and work with people I don’t choose. And yes, I’m that difficult.
There is no “purpose” in my own existence, other than trying to make this huge mess of a society a tiny bit less shitty. Purpose is a human abstraction, and a faulty one for concepts impossible to grasp completely, as life itself (which can’t even be clearly defined).
We don’t have a goal, only false gods. In this game, if you die, there is no end score (unless you believe it because somebody programmed it into you).
It’s all just a journey, where we constantly learn stuff and make mistakes, whether we want or not. Right or wrong is subjective.
What we can all do is to define how we want to be and choose what works best; natural selection will do the rest for us. Success or failure is an abstraction primarily dependent on our limited perception, there is no such thing in “nature”.
In the years I sort of developed a weird attitude that makes me put a large amount of time into thinking and decomposing problems in different ways. People think I’m strange because of that. I think they’re strange because they don’t.
When I observe things, often I tend to do it from many different points of views; everything I see develops many facets inside me, each having an influence on the approximative, incomplete and flawed interpretations I try to build. Pre-existant ideas, prejudice, cognitive biases, illusions, instincts and common knowledge are constant enemies on the infinite escalation for a cleaner way of thinking and understanding the environment around me.
Basically every milestone is eventually a failure that needs to be fixed with another milestone.
Often I don’t follow the pack, but I search my own route, which may not be the best or the most stimulating, but at least I don’t do many common mistakes people fall into. Of course I invent my own mistakes. A lonely wolf won’t hunt big preys, but will see a lot of new things for sure.
Nothing bad with it, really, when I reached eighteen years old I started deciding what to do with my time. And that worked great, it’s like my life actually started in that moment.
I immediately found a job as a computer technician, and that path led me to a constant growth in terms of knowledge, capabilities and understanding. Yes, I initially skipped university, though after a while I decided to go there anyway, so I fired myself from my stable job and started studying Computer Engineering. That was a good decision under every possible point of view.
You won’t find me active on any social network, I can’t force myself to appreciate systems designed to entertain people with low-quality and time-consuming content. Real life is no better, but at least it works.
The rest of me is in the other side of the screen.